Turn of Fate
by emberin
Summary: One-shot. What have I become? Life does not answer my questions. Can I find the answer in death? I do not know. But it is too late to undo what has already been done.


Turn of Fate

Yes, I know. I have to go finish my other stories. But I really wanted to write this while it was still in my head… so bear with me. I'll try to update them soon, but don't take it as a guarantee. And by the way, I haven't seen the OVAs, so let's say that in this version those events don't exist.

DISCLAMER: I do not own the characters of Fushigi Yuugi, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

POV: Tasuki

So this is the end… isn't it?

I never thought it would come to this, but here I am, lying on the dirt at the mercy of Chichiri. Who knew that fate would place us in these positions? When we parted ways after the priestess left, neither of us expected to meet the other ever again. And certainly not under these circumstances. However, the web of destiny only has so many paths, and they eventually cross one another more than once.

The priestess…

She was the one who brought the change in my soul. Before, I was a person who followed no god, only my instincts. That mark on my arm meant nothing to me, and nothing my fellow bandits could say would have moved me from my rooted opinions. I did not have a heart for matters but my own. I did not give a care for anyone else, unless it ultimately helped me. I had no care for things such as love for the opposite gender. Those emotions remained elusive to me.

But after Miaka came, she confirmed the truth I could never accept. And gradually, with the influence of my fellow seishi, my heart began to change. As I saw their lives move through Suzaku's spiritual touch on them all, and their flow through love, I felt the god of love's passing through me. So I grew to become more of a 'team player', shall I say, and I was ready to love someone.

However, the first time I tried to, my heart was stolen, never to be returned. With it were the few shards of compassion and kindness I had in myself. I turned cold and cruel, perhaps even more so than I was before from the loss I had suffered. I no longer saw Konan as the loving country I called my home. Not caring for any remaining friend I had, I left for Kutou, bent on destroying this place. Any last thoughts were wiped away when the phoenix god's spirit left me for good, never to return. Nothing could save me from the grasp of the dragon, even the small, dark bits that managed to reach through from his cage that I myself had helped to place him in.

Suzaku, why did you forsake me?

After that, the second war on Konan had begun. Many battles had been won, many losses suffered by both sides. The number of casualties on both sides had been so high I decided to finish it off with a final battle. Would I feel regret for making such a rash move? Would I feel sorry for sealing my fate, the fate I could not escape anyway? As I lie here, I think not.

We were prepared to make the final strike on the castle. Multitudes of bodies lay scattered on the ground, like solitary ants that had gone out to gather food, only to be trampled upon. The final thing to take out was the king. But just as we arrived to stab the knife through his small, frail heart and claim victory, Chichiri reappeared.

In a blink, all my men were knocked out on the floor. His mask was off, showing his vivid red eye. At that time, the red was soft, almost pleading in a way. "Why?" he whispered.

Why?

I constantly ask myself this simple one-word question, yet I never get an answer. I have never known, do not know, and probably never will. Yet my life is revolving around me, my actions continuously replaying themselves in my head and poking at me with their sharp-ended consequences. I am in constant need of this answer, but this also seems to have a high level of obscurity when it is associated with me.

And so time passed. We engaged in combat, two who were once friends and now were enemies in war. Eventually we ended in the position now where I am on the ground, with the end of his staff at my throat. Blood was spilled all over the floor, staining it red. My tessen lies on the ground, close but too far away for me to reach. A ring of fire surrounds the two of us and the child king. The remains of the castle are burning up in flames.

I can feel death's ropes pulling me away. I know there is no chance of escape. A faint sound of weeping reaches my ears. Is it Chichiri? Or is it just me? I do not know. But hearing that sound of sorrow… it brings back something I lost long ago. What is this feeling? At once, I receive the answer, but I am left even more confused. I feel… as though this was Suzaku's doing.

It is far too late to make a difference, as I have brought this cursed happening upon myself, but I feel… I feel a mixed range of emotions, a spectrum which brightens up the world which I live in now, one of purely black and white. And as I am being dragged into the realm of endless time, I accept these feelings as my own, but my darkness covers the light. My final breath escapes me, only to mingle with the smoke, the darkness which I had become.

* * *

Yes, that was screwed. Is this considered angst? Or what? Whatever… but this is my first time in a one-shot, so please be lenient if it makes no sense in that form. And sorry if Tasuki is a little OOC... Reviews are always welcome! 

EmbeRin


End file.
